Comments on: What do you think of my preface and 1st part of chapter? http://www.nrfoam.org/closed-cell-foam/what-do-you-think-of-my-preface-and-1st-part-of-chapter/ Wed, 17 Mar 2010 10:13:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: sensualgruv http://www.nrfoam.org/closed-cell-foam/what-do-you-think-of-my-preface-and-1st-part-of-chapter/#comment-1081 sensualgruv Sun, 22 Nov 2009 03:27:59 +0000 http://www.nrfoam.org/closed-cell-foam/what-do-you-think-of-my-preface-and-1st-part-of-chapter#comment-1081 Your Answer: This has to be the most concise piece of writing I've read on answers in a long time. It was funny and left just enough information out so that the reader is engaged in hanging around to get filled in on the details. It could use a basic clean-up and some basic cliches could be dumped and you'd still have a nice start. I'm not sure where the story is going but as a reader I like when a writer can keep me interested by their style. Your style of letting the reader in as the character moves about the pages is exciting. Even the process of her getting dressed is dynamic versus static. You are showing not telling and everything is in present tense so that we are living it as the main character is. Again some slight clean up such as filling us in on how the 'soy latte' is going to get to Terrence's new girlfriend if she left. I'm cloudy on that one. Don't know what type of business they have if sometimes they're fixing cars and sometimes it's all about deliveries but I like that from day to day it could change for the reader if not for the character. I'm also not clear on what age we are talking about and that's something I like to know in order to offer better advice on characters and even setting. Who is older Alyson or Terrence? Which might explain why she gave up her sheets to her younger brother and why she's always allowing him to walk all over her which then leads to her allowing everyone to walk all over her. No matter what I really enjoyed the story. I could do without the preface, for me it didn't add anything to the story. I'm fine with picking up one morning and I'll find out about 'whoever' this other person is as the story unfolds. It's part of the charm of stories. I love the clock thing. I do that myself in stories sometimes although the spit shower was nasty I suppose that's just a preference thing. I like the casual style of writing it's very conversational and again brings me the reader right into the story. It makes it up close and personal for me and already I'm feeling Al's annoyances and aggravations but more than anything her complacency. Like the radio, so it's busted at least I've got a good CD. Truck is crap but it's my crap and it runs. J...<br><b>References : </b><br> Your Answer:
This has to be the most concise piece of writing I’ve read on answers in a long time. It was funny and left just enough information out so that the reader is engaged in hanging around to get filled in on the details. It could use a basic clean-up and some basic cliches could be dumped and you’d still have a nice start. I’m not sure where the story is going but as a reader I like when a writer can keep me interested by their style. Your style of letting the reader in as the character moves about the pages is exciting. Even the process of her getting dressed is dynamic versus static. You are showing not telling and everything is in present tense so that we are living it as the main character is.
Again some slight clean up such as filling us in on how the ‘soy latte’ is going to get to Terrence’s new girlfriend if she left. I’m cloudy on that one. Don’t know what type of business they have if sometimes they’re fixing cars and sometimes it’s all about deliveries but I like that from day to day it could change for the reader if not for the character. I’m also not clear on what age we are talking about and that’s something I like to know in order to offer better advice on characters and even setting. Who is older Alyson or Terrence? Which might explain why she gave up her sheets to her younger brother and why she’s always allowing him to walk all over her which then leads to her allowing everyone to walk all over her.
No matter what I really enjoyed the story. I could do without the preface, for me it didn’t add anything to the story. I’m fine with picking up one morning and I’ll find out about ‘whoever’ this other person is as the story unfolds. It’s part of the charm of stories. I love the clock thing. I do that myself in stories sometimes although the spit shower was nasty I suppose that’s just a preference thing. I like the casual style of writing it’s very conversational and again brings me the reader right into the story. It makes it up close and personal for me and already I’m feeling Al’s annoyances and aggravations but more than anything her complacency. Like the radio, so it’s busted at least I’ve got a good CD. Truck is crap but it’s my crap and it runs.

J…
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]]> By: question http://www.nrfoam.org/closed-cell-foam/what-do-you-think-of-my-preface-and-1st-part-of-chapter/#comment-1080 question Sun, 22 Nov 2009 02:42:59 +0000 http://www.nrfoam.org/closed-cell-foam/what-do-you-think-of-my-preface-and-1st-part-of-chapter#comment-1080 i liked it especially the preface <br><b>References : </b><br> i liked it especially the preface
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